--pissed off--

not another downshift maintenance day. kinda shag up myself after week-in, week-out of pawai duties. it had nv been a peaceful downshift..

it was that particular day that make me flared up really during my SI days. everything seems to move on smoothly.. until the time when i gave out several instructions, but none of them listen to me. Not even a single souls.. i start to lose my patience slowly but surely.. not another no i could tolerate anymore. jimmy was right in front of me..i think its just his day ba..zzzz.. i asked him very politely but he choose not to listen. he ignited my flash point and pushed me to yelled at him.

i start questioning myself.. did i make a wrong decision of trying to build rapport with my men??? or i did not draw clearing the line btw them properly??? or rather, i must go along with them when i give instructions??? must i alway follow them when i ask them to do any work??? every shift there is 3 pple excluding myself. so shd i really split my time into 3 parts whenever there is work huh?

or god..spare me frm pawai duty as a spec ... put me a signaller or a storeman next life huh?